Honest Post: The Paradox of Faith

Good afternoon!

I’m sitting here on a chilly winter afternoon, taking a blog break between jobs and listening to Kari Jobe playlists on YouTube. (Side note: The way that woman floats her top notes is sublime!)

This is kind-of a pallet cleanser between writing a medical-type blog and writing a supernatural fiction novel. Talk about diverse writing styles! Gee! But this isn’t a post about writing styles. It’s a post about life. (Christian life at that! Feel free to stop reading if that isn’t for you! I’ll write about books and stuff next time!)

My life has been busy lately. Last week was a book launch. The week before that involved putting our house on the market – its a good thing! Onwards and upwards and all that. This week should see me finish the first draft of the Remnant – finally! Next week is a work trip to the sunshine state (Queensland for the non-Australians) for work. Through all of this, life’s been busy for hubby too. We’ve sort-of been these two super-focused bubble dwellers who look up from our work every now and then and go “Oh hey you! I like you! Let’s pay attention to each-other.”

We knew these times in life would happen. We knew it in the first weeks of our courtship. But still its a juggle. We are two individuals who fully immerse ourselves in what we know we are meant to be doing, to what our purpose is, and we get a bit obsessive about it.

Our faith/relationship with God forms the centrality of our lives. This is a non-negotiable. It was at the centre of our individual lives before we married and its stayed at the heart of ‘us’. But gosh – sometimes its not the easiest thing in the world.

I find the ‘faith’ bit especially difficult. There’s an honest statement for you! “It will happen in God’s timing.” “Leave it in God’s hands.” Quotes of Hebrews 11:1 and such – these are things that leave me grinding my teeth behind the sparkly smile and nodded agreement.

Christians will have heard Hebrews 11:1 a few hundred times – that faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen. We’ve all heard that its impossible to please God without faith.

That doesn’t mean faith is the easiest thing in the world. Well! I just wanted to give a shout-out to my people who, like me, find the ‘inspired, faith-filled Christian’ role a bit hard to fill sometimes. I’ve realised lately that faith isn’t always laced with obfuscation and OTT positivity. Sometimes its putting one foot in front of the other and just doing the next thing. Sometimes its just refusing to give up. Sometimes its throwing your hands up and going “I’m at the end of my rope. Your turn God. You’re going to have to come through.”

I don’t know how faith and irrepressible positivity became interchangeable terms. They are different things. If you can’t to irrepressible positivity, tirelessness and ‘bounce out of bed happy,’ don’t get to thinking you fail at faith.

Life’s good. It really is. But anyone who has ever thrown themselves into something only to realise its a bit bigger than they are will know what I’m talking about. It can get tiring. That’s okay.

In these times, take a break and listen to Kari Jobe – or whoever your flavour is! You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.

So that’s todays thoughts – partially for me, partially because I’m sure someone needed to read that today.




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