Its pouring rain outside. I dunno what it is about that, but it makes me reflective. Perhaps its the sound of the rain hitting the neighbours tin roof. Perhaps its the raindrops coursing down the window just to my right. Or perhaps its the fact that I blog a lot about stuff – writing, editing, books, etc – and not a lot about life.
Time to change that. I’ll go a little more personal today. If you’ve had a look at my bio, you might know the big ticket details about me. I’m a full time writer, who dabbles in photography to keep herself sane. I’m a musician – I can play piano well, guitar sorta kinda almost, and cello badly. I’m working on the last two. I don’t sing in the shower because I’m afraid that will make me a bad singer. Its my one superstition I suppose.
Hubby is in local politics (A Wellington Shire Councillor when he isn’t doing web design), and he and I are both very involved in our local church, of which I’m a director and my parents are pastors.
When I was younger, being a Christian was an incredibly bold and energising thing. My sisters and I were collectively called “God” at the McDonalds store we worked at during our teens. I had this huge group of friends who were all as dedicated to faith and freedom as what I was, so changing the world seemed like a very viable option.
We were born to do it! We were destined to do it! We were champing at the bit to do it.
My my, how life changes in your twenties! I went off to Uni. I travelled a bit. I’m incredibly lucky in that my group of friends has not only stayed solid, but grown as one by one we have married incredible people, and others have joined our lives. But somewhere along the road, that life-on-the-edge, devil-may-care courage disappeared a bit. Salaries, responsibilities, worries, and a few hard knocks in life happened, (and they happen to all of us I’m sure). Then one day I woke up and realised I wasn’t doing what I always dreamed I’d do.
I wasn’t doing it because I’d grown afraid of conflict. I’d always dreamed of being a writer, of writing books that challenged people and made them think, all while taking them on an incredible, action-packed journey. But when push came to shove, I was that afraid of conflict, of what people might think of my writing or more importantly what I was saying, that I just didn’t do it at all.
Gone were the days where Christianity was an adventure, where it was dynamic and edgy. I’d found a comfortable, unchallenging adult version of events where faith had been replaced with a solid reliance on what could guarantee the bills would get paid. About two years ago all of that started to change.
Conflict still terrifies me. I’ll be straight up about that. But I came to a realisation – faith isn’t always bells, whistles, positive confessions and warm fuzzy feelings. Sometimes its putting one foot in front of the other and just doing the next thing you know you have to do.
I can do that. It might be scary sometimes. It might not always feel good, even when it feels right. But I can do that.
I feel like this time in history is just so important. Things are changing so fast. Sometimes I switch on the news and turn it straight back off again, horrified by what I see. These are the times where faith matters. It might not feel buoyant and easy. It might take a lot of courage to give voice to what you know is right, but its more important now than it ever has been in history.
Why? We used to have other righteous men and women who would stand up for what is right. We can’t take that for granted anymore. People are being scared into silence – by taunts, by political correctness, by humanism, by name calling, even by lawsuits.
I still believe love is the most important thing we can offer the world. But love speaks truth. Even when its terrifying to do so. Take courage friends. You aren’t the only one who is a little scared by whats going on in the world. But together we can make a difference, and make this the world we want it to be.
Over and out!